Wednesday, Feb. 7, 2007, 10:00 pm - For Sale: Maison des Scorpions Amicaux (House of Friendly Scorpions)

posted by Amy Brooks

Seeking a home with a little extra excitement? How about a three bedroom, two-and-half bath beauty in Las Vegas! This home features a pool, an enormous yard (compared to Las Vegas standards), and frequent cute, cuddly little scorpion visits! Once a week or more you'll be surprised by your cohabitating creatures who enjoy dark, cool hangouts. Just like in the image above, you'll be able to see your friends better under a black light.

The adorable bark scorpion enjoys sneaking around in the dead of night, eating crumbs, large insects, and scaring the crap out of you. Your new pets will appear only in the evening when they're out-and-about looking for a good meal. Watch out! Their sting can be excruciating, at its best; and at its worst - deadly. This lovely home can be yours for the amazing low-low price of only $300,000. So act now!  MAKE AN OFFER!

» Need more information on the bark scorpion?  Visit the University of Arizona - College of Agricultural and Life Sciences for more details: http://ag.arizona.edu/pubs/insects/az1223/.

But wait!  There's more...

The bark scorpion sting is highly toxic. Small children, the infirm, and the elderly must be especially wary of encountering such a specimen. An antivenin is available only if you're lucky enough to live near the University of Arizona. All other persons must enjoy the neat little tail poke (or as some make refer - the extraordinary pain) of a sting or, for those special persons experiencing anaphylactic shock, be rushed to a hospital and given a delightful tracheotomy. 

» Curious about the composition of the bark scorpion venom? Here is an enlightening paper on the subject: 

"Composition of variant 2 scorpion toxin from Centruroides sculpturatus Ewing" by Cook, Zell, Watt & Ealick.  

»» Ready to see the small wonder in action? The following video details an encounter with the delightful insect earlier this evening. (**Warning: the publisher assumes no liability associated with viewing this video such as crawling skin syndrome, obsessive inspection of your surroundings, sleep disturbances, and psychosis. View at your own risk.)

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